The Lost Art of Conversation

We've been told that the ability to communicate effectively is the key to understanding between two people, however it seems that in the relaitonship arena we are failing miserably. I wish I knew the reasons why this is happening more and more frequently but it is. When it comes to the male species, alot of us are still not comfortable with expressing how and what we feel to the women we are involved with unless it is feelings of a romantic nature and even then there is some ambivalence. On the flip side, we'll tell our boys how we "smashed" it with out a second thought.

Unfortunatley we've been conditioned to think that sharing with your lady is not "playa like". It's not something men do but how are you going to know and understand what is need to make your relationship work if you don't have the conversation. Sleeping with someone who has the ability to make you say "ooooooo" has never been enough to maintain a relationship. The more you talk and discover about each other two things are going to be apparent, your either going to find our just how much you have in common or realize this is not going to work.

For some untold reason men and women have been convinced that being lovers is cool, but if you're in a relationship being friends is not possible. Now, I for one am In love with my best friend who happens to be on somedays my girlfriend, but everyday my wife. I share a closeness with her that I've never experienced before and on top of that I actually like her. I was reading an excerpt of a book call "The Conversation" by Hill Harper and I found that he echoed the same sentiment. "I started to wonder whether men and women even talk to each other. I mean really talk--easily and freely, without reservation--like we do with our friends. I even started to wonder whether men and women considered each other friends, or if we automatically compartmentalized our relationships: We're either lovers or we're platonic friends, but not both. Truth be told, the comments I heard made me wonder--despite all the emphatic "I love men" and "I love women" declarations--whether men and women really even liked each other at all."

I know I'm not the only one that sees it or feels that way. As men, our ability to emotionally detach from a relationship has caused our sista alot of grief and when they want to go outside of the race and date we wonder why. If the only time we speak is during the throes of passion that makes for a very one dimensional relationship. For better of worse conversation is an integral part of any relationship and if we do not begin to have the conversation the art form that provides the glue in relatioships will be lost forever.