The shift
What do you consider a life of purpose?
This has been a question that has sat on my spirit over the last year. Today, the answer became apparent to me and it caused a shift in my existence. My purpose was revealed to me and it shook me to my core. The sad fact is I have known my purpose all along but I saw it as a burden and I often found myself struggling not to acknowledge it. I would play the victim when I felt that my purpose overwhelmed me. I learned today that I have been going against the grain, essentially making things harder than they needed to be. I embraced lack and hardship as merit badges...playing the victim made me credible in my mind. After all, I am a conduit of healing...how can I assist others in their healing if I had not been tested? How foolish of me... sigh... all along a shift was occurring inside of me...I was being elevated into my rightful place in this universe...I saw this as punishment and not growth...
I saw a movie today called The Shift: From Ambition to Meaning by Dr. Wayne Dyer.... this movie really touched my heart... I won the DVD and the accompanying book and it has sat on my bookshelf for over six months now...it was only today that Spirit has moved me to watch it...and I am so glad that I did...
Last week I lost one of the two jobs I have here in Florida....it sent my world into a monumental whirlwind, for you see I live like millions of others in this country, paycheck to paycheck with no savings, barely straddling the line of homelessness and hunger. Many don't know this truth about me, but it is my reality. The beautiful thing about this truth is that I have caused this on myself... living below my potential, doing just enough to get by and playing the victim. All my life I have given my all to others, often denying and depleting myself. This has become a habit for me, one that I embraced and wore like a badge...I call it the wounded healer. But today, this movie made me see that I was just existing and not truly living up to my purpose. Yes, I am suppose to give of myself...but I also have to give to myself. It was such a subtle reminder that it brought me to tears... not tears of disappointment but those of surrender...I felt the shift... I am no longer a victim...I no longer have to struggle....I no longer exist in lack...my life has meaning and having to start my life over is not a bad thing..but a welcomed shift....
You see, because of my lack of funds I have to move back into my mother's house at age 36 next week, and just a few days ago I cried my eyes out over that fact. My heart was gripped with fear and disappointment, as the tears flowed I blamed myself for failing here in florida... I was embarrassed about the fact that I now have to ask for help...that I needed a helping hand. I didn't feel worthy... even though I have given to people all my life... even when they were ungrateful and took advantage of me. I blamed everyone who ever hurt me here in florida, but I refused to take credit for what I didn't do.... and that was to walk in my purpose with my head held high....
So as I continue to pack this week for my return HOME, I am reminded by this movie that I am now embarking on a shift from a human doing to a human being.... that what I manifest now is in direct proportion to the new direction I seek in my life. That I was called home to fulfill the desire of my authentic self....that a life of meaning and purpose is mine to have, to share, and to embrace. This reminds me of the African spirit of sankofa.... that I can do an about face and head back to the place of spirit where I am embraced, loved, supported, and nurtured.
We learn and develop strength from being exposed to the world..and I am grateful for my florida season( the good and the bad) ... Sometimes it takes everything we have to make it through a test, I know now that I have what it takes to endure to the end and that the Divine is always with me. It took having to get a blood transfusion earlier this year to illustrate to me my strength, and how much I needed to let go and be taken care of. The universe has made me aware of the fact that I now have to conserve my energy for things that will empower me to live out my destiny...and moving back home and not having to struggle to maintain a daily existence will allow me to do just that. This is not a set back but a set up for bigger and grander things Today I honor my shift, I affirm my divinity, I align with the Divine and open my mind, body and spirit to abundance, peace and prosperity. I can see my truth, my way is clear, my heart is pure and I am free.... Today I truly walk in my purpose....will you?
Khetnu Nefer (@yogidread)
What do you consider a life of purpose?
This has been a question that has sat on my spirit over the last year. Today, the answer became apparent to me and it caused a shift in my existence. My purpose was revealed to me and it shook me to my core. The sad fact is I have known my purpose all along but I saw it as a burden and I often found myself struggling not to acknowledge it. I would play the victim when I felt that my purpose overwhelmed me. I learned today that I have been going against the grain, essentially making things harder than they needed to be. I embraced lack and hardship as merit badges...playing the victim made me credible in my mind. After all, I am a conduit of healing...how can I assist others in their healing if I had not been tested? How foolish of me... sigh... all along a shift was occurring inside of me...I was being elevated into my rightful place in this universe...I saw this as punishment and not growth...
I saw a movie today called The Shift: From Ambition to Meaning by Dr. Wayne Dyer.... this movie really touched my heart... I won the DVD and the accompanying book and it has sat on my bookshelf for over six months now...it was only today that Spirit has moved me to watch it...and I am so glad that I did...
Last week I lost one of the two jobs I have here in Florida....it sent my world into a monumental whirlwind, for you see I live like millions of others in this country, paycheck to paycheck with no savings, barely straddling the line of homelessness and hunger. Many don't know this truth about me, but it is my reality. The beautiful thing about this truth is that I have caused this on myself... living below my potential, doing just enough to get by and playing the victim. All my life I have given my all to others, often denying and depleting myself. This has become a habit for me, one that I embraced and wore like a badge...I call it the wounded healer. But today, this movie made me see that I was just existing and not truly living up to my purpose. Yes, I am suppose to give of myself...but I also have to give to myself. It was such a subtle reminder that it brought me to tears... not tears of disappointment but those of surrender...I felt the shift... I am no longer a victim...I no longer have to struggle....I no longer exist in lack...my life has meaning and having to start my life over is not a bad thing..but a welcomed shift....
You see, because of my lack of funds I have to move back into my mother's house at age 36 next week, and just a few days ago I cried my eyes out over that fact. My heart was gripped with fear and disappointment, as the tears flowed I blamed myself for failing here in florida... I was embarrassed about the fact that I now have to ask for help...that I needed a helping hand. I didn't feel worthy... even though I have given to people all my life... even when they were ungrateful and took advantage of me. I blamed everyone who ever hurt me here in florida, but I refused to take credit for what I didn't do.... and that was to walk in my purpose with my head held high....
So as I continue to pack this week for my return HOME, I am reminded by this movie that I am now embarking on a shift from a human doing to a human being.... that what I manifest now is in direct proportion to the new direction I seek in my life. That I was called home to fulfill the desire of my authentic self....that a life of meaning and purpose is mine to have, to share, and to embrace. This reminds me of the African spirit of sankofa.... that I can do an about face and head back to the place of spirit where I am embraced, loved, supported, and nurtured.
We learn and develop strength from being exposed to the world..and I am grateful for my florida season( the good and the bad) ... Sometimes it takes everything we have to make it through a test, I know now that I have what it takes to endure to the end and that the Divine is always with me. It took having to get a blood transfusion earlier this year to illustrate to me my strength, and how much I needed to let go and be taken care of. The universe has made me aware of the fact that I now have to conserve my energy for things that will empower me to live out my destiny...and moving back home and not having to struggle to maintain a daily existence will allow me to do just that. This is not a set back but a set up for bigger and grander things Today I honor my shift, I affirm my divinity, I align with the Divine and open my mind, body and spirit to abundance, peace and prosperity. I can see my truth, my way is clear, my heart is pure and I am free.... Today I truly walk in my purpose....will you?
Khetnu Nefer (@yogidread)
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