Casualties of War: "The Internal Battle" by Erick The Third Eye

CASUALTIES OF WAR: THE INTERNAL BATTLE

There are many battles being fought right now; both external and internal. The number one offender of these outbreaks; in my humble opinion is the EGO. "My cause is greater than yours", I'm right you're wrong", "My religion & God is the CORRECT way to salvation" and so on. Simply a blame game and finger pointing justice without accountability or discernment. As always I must define that in which I have targeted to keep us on the same vibrational wave and you YOURSELF may come into yourOWN overstanding & conclusion.
Your thinking, the content of your mind, is of course conditioned by the past: your upbringing, culture, family background, and so on. The central core of all your mind activity consists of certain repetitive and persistent thoughts, emotions, and reactive patterns that you identify with most strongly. This entity is the EGO itself.
A NEW EARTH Awakening to Your Life's Purpose pg 59-60:

by Eckhart Tolle

EGO: 1) The"I" of self of any person; a person as thinking, feeling and willing, and distinguishing itself from the selves of others and from objects of its thought.

2) Psychoanal. the part of the psychic apparatus that experiences and reacts to the outside world and thus mediates between the primitive drives of the id and the demands of the social and physical environment

3) egotism; conceit; self-importance

4) self-esteem or self-image; feelings

(Online dictionary-DICTIONARY.COM)

I was entering the Decatur Train Station one morning, I observed a young mother with two children entering the fare gates. The mother and the oldest child; maybe 5 or 6 yrs old had enter the gate and the little girl about 3 or 4 yrs old was trailing behind as the automatic gate was about to close. The mother was screaming at the little girl to hurry, but she was being nonchalant. When she made it through the fare gate the mother PUNCHED this child to the floor! She then snatched her up by her coat with whiplash force and screaming at the top of her lungs about her moving to slow. I was unable to bite my tongue and yelled at her "Are you SERIOUS?" "Was that necessary for walking to slow?" It became confrontational and combative with us both "expressing" our take on the situation. We went our separate ways and I was left with my emotions and feelings to sort out. After about 20 minutes of just being furious of the scene I witness I had to begin the process of putting things in perspective. I searched to find an understanding to this behavior without personalizing it (yeah right) . It is quite obvious that her reactionary response may be the result of some unresolved issues and/or unexpressed feelings; when viewed on much more than a surface level. This is the internal war I'm referring too.

WAR: (noun) 10. A state of opposition or contest; an act of opposition; an inimical contest, act, or action; enmity; hostility

(Verb) 2. To make war; to invade or attack a state or nation with force of arms; to carry on hostilities; to be in a state by violence

3. To contend; to strive violently; to fight.

4. To make war upon; to fight.

5. To carry on, as a contest; to wage

(Websters Online Dictionary)

Weapons Of Mass Destruction also known as Character Defects and Shortcomings within the human character. A character defect would be a flat tire. The shortcoming would be riding on it.Fear can be mistaking for anger. Anger turned inwards becomes Depression. Always remember that HURT PEOPLE; HURT PEOPLE! If I truly know what it feels like to be loved, then showing love to others is not a challenging task. There are trials, events and tribulations in our lives that rob us of the ability to be compassionate to one another. There are some who have never experienced anything close to love. Perception becomes distorted when mismanaged emotions begin to override the thought process and decision making. I, myself have been shown love throughout my life, however I didn't always recognize it as being love. If you didn't show me the affection the way I wanted it; I rejected your attempts of kindness. Yes, I was one SELF-CENTERED BASTARD! I began using others not even aware of my actions. I had "stinking" thinking and disillusioned concepts of relationships. I so badly wanted to do right, however I had no understanding of what a healthy relationship was. My surroundings and belief system was dysfunctional, but since that's all I knew it was "normal".

Thus begins "The Internal Battles" of good vs. evil, right and wrong or to live or die (Death is not always physical)! Being unaware of my actions, thoughts, and ideas caused great discomfort and strife through the years. There were times when I had "moments of clarity", which were indicators that there were "glitches" in my MATRIX. It's like running a computer program(thinking, perceptions) and realizing that it has a virus(distorted, misinformed). You then see that the computer has been running & downloading slow with numerous pop-ups. When you've been running on an infected program for so long it is now YOUR "normal". You know you have issues/problems, but have no idea or direction on what to do about your programming situation. All you have is old information to deal with an ongoing dilemma. I so badly want to do right, however I just didn't know what to do. Denial sets in and I ignore my issues, then begin pointing fingers at who or whatever is within my line of fire. Now, frustration, anxiety, anger, hopelessness and fear consumes my character. Now my child is walking to slow and I punch her to ground screaming at the top of my lungs!
As bad as I want to go in on Homegirl; I know I would just be judging her according to my understanding, beliefs, standards and/or perception. My ego will quickly prosecute her actions as wrong, so I can be right and feel superior and self-righteous. I'm a conscious minded thinker, which means I have to be able to recognize the unconsciousness in another without reacting unconsciously. Honestly speaking; that morning I acted a pure donkey! It was all emotions with no thought process to found. I quickly observed the same reactionary response she displayed in myself. Mine was worst than hers? How is that; when I didn't lay a hands on a child? As previously stated I consider myself to be conscious minded (aware) and I showed none whatsoever. Upon this realization, I analyzed my behaviors, which in turn would give me some insight of the young woman's conduct that I found so disturbing to me. On the surface we all differ in many ways, but below the surface we all suffer from some of the same deep rooted issues that are universal to the human existence.

CAUSALITY: the relation between a cause and its effect or between regularly correlated events or phenomena

We are all; in some way somehow causalities on a greater scope of things. There are numerous equations and factors in our existence that cause us to act, respond, protect, isolate, and think the way we do; as individuals and collectively, which in turn effects our way of life as human beings searching for purpose with meaning. There has been ripple effects in my life caused by my unawareness, which has been the source of my frustrations, pain, mis-guided decisions, and hopelessness. My family, friends, co-workers, courts, jails, strangers, etc have been causalities of my ignorance (unconsciousness). I was clueless of how I impaired the lives of others due to my self centeredness. Because I was unable to identify with my Internal Battles I was inflicting havoc on those closest to me.

If I never wake up and redirect my consciousness it can have a life long effect for example on my daughter. It is quite possible that she will fall prey to the generational cancer; the one that spiritual and emotionally impeded myself a connection to a Source of Higher Consciousness. I rotated for years in the same vicious cycle of living as those before me. I made life choices based on what I was shown, taught, and understood. Now my daughter's mother and I will be the sound reasoning and trustworthy activist in her life. She will learn and maybe live by our understandings and actions until she can develop her own. Now, if our lives and thinking are dysfunctional; it is quite possible that she may struggle for years before coming into her own.
All this from a young mother's paroxysmal explosion towards her child walking to slow for her at that time. For me it is important to understand versus judging others from my single point of view. I have learned that we are connected by a Greater Source/Higher Conscious/Infinite Mind/God. So that alerts me to the fact, once connected with this force we can relate to anyone on a Emotional, Mental and Spiritual region of activity. Since we are all connected, I should be conscious enough to see myself within any individual without placing labels on them or putting them in "MY SELF RIGHTEOUS" categories. If taking the time I can discover myself through actions of others and not condemn them. Because no one should be involuntarily enlisted in my INTERNAL BATTLES causing them to be CAUSALITIES OF WAR

BY: Erick ThirdEye
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